hello its me

hopelessly infrequent updates about a young lady and breast cancer

Friday, May 10, 2002

i know its rather late i should go to bed but here i am, probably a little help from the iced tea i had earlier. We had a mini church of craft meeting tonight at Downbeat cafe here in echo park, and it was the first time having it outside of allisons house and it was really really good, mellow, nice, relaxing. I worked on my "mouse eating apricots" needle point, and andy who was working suggested i make him a henry rollins pillow. I am seriously thinking that that would be the most amazing thing, a picture of henry rollins done in needlepoint. amazing. and so wrong. :)

Anyways, so i had the post op meeting with Dr Collins on wednesday. There was no more new news to report, just that the tumor was smaller (2.1 cm exactly) and that further tests on the lymph nodes extracted confirm definatly no cancer in the nodes. Close but clean margins (meaning no cancerous cells extended into the surrounding "good tissue" that they took as a sample.) and a secret trick that explains why ive not exprienced much pain at all: he injected some fluid with an anesthetic into the space so that the space could heal without collapsing entirely and that i would not feel it for a day or so! Genius! So Im done with the surgery part, and bid adieu to Dr. Collins (to meet again in 6 months) and then met the oncologist, Dr. Glowalla. Hes really cool. Really down to earth. Ive got 2 options for chemo treatment that im not really going to discuss in detail until i am for sure about what im going to do, but pretty much im looking at 4cycles of chemo at 3 week intervals (much much less that i was told at first) a regimen involving "AC" (two chemo drugs that are pretty hardcore) and hair loss. But thankfully, Shana has a bunch of wigs and a short blonde one that kinda looks like the one Coco Lee wears inthat Wong Kar Wai movie "Fallen Angels" so im just going to have fun with it, ive never shaved my head before! And the chemo dont know how that will be but its different for everybody but i hope to be able to get into acupuncture and do more yoga to get over any side effects. After the chemo, 5 weeks of radiation and then tamoxifen pills for 5 years. After the radiation i will be prescribed a big dose of "GOING TO PUERTO RICO" which will have no side effects except for being so worth the wait! And the ocean and the food and my new penpal alexandra and her vegan pecan pie and the culture and having had learned enought spanish by then to really be able to confidently give it a go of living there. I CANT WAIT!

Somehow, it all seems much easier now, than just 3 weeks ago when i felt really kinda lost, now i feel like ok, its like getting your classes at school and what a relief to get the classes you wanted, even though you dont reallly want to be in school at all. I wouldnt have chosen this school to go to, but hey, i got the easy classes!

love jp